"WANDERING MIND"

Pakiwaring ang gabi

ay tila bingi

sa kaluskos ng

hanging tumatangay 

sa blangkong isip.

Ikaw, na pilit

na binubura sa

balintataw na

parang isang

maling salita

na hindi dapat 

bigkasin.

pumikit..

dumilat..

mga mata'y mahapdi.

Nalunod sa

isa, dalawa,,

at higit pang

patak ng mainit

na likidong 

tumutunaw sa

marupok na  gunita

ng isip.

ikaw, na iginuhit  sa 

naghihingalong

papel ng alaala..

Kailanma'y maaring

mapunit, magpiraso

at liparin,

sa hiwaga ng kawalan

hanggang sa tuluyang

mawala,...maglaho.

"Pusillaminous Heart"

Ilang tula,

istorya pa

ba ang dapat

maisatitik

ng pagal 

ko na mga

daliri..

Ilang panulat,

papel ang

dapat maubos

para maiparating

ang pakpak

ng aking hinaing..

Ano pa ba

ang dapat gawin

upang masilip

ng iyong mga

mata ang

madilim na 

butas na  

puno ng 

di- maarok na

damdamin  kung

saan nahihimlay ang

diwa kong pilit 

nagkukubli sa 

liwanag ng iyong

mga bituin.

TALE of Heart

              Listening...writing...reading....what else should I do  just to escape from this abstinence...in this edge of tedium. sad but true I was alone in the valley of delusion and broken dreams that will never be fixed in a snap of seconds. To gain an invisibility power is a desire of any imaginative minds but to someone like me, being invisible to the eye of someone I like is some kind of a torture.The scenario of being so close but yet so far, even the moment that you have to ignore the chant of your dessicated chest was like having a hemorrhage.

         

             His mysterious eyes, I like,...yet I can't looked at it. Afraid not to see myself through it or he might read the concealed reality in my eyes. Such like, spotting the dew of sea breeze at night was culled as sanctuary of denial. we're standing in a straight path range but still the rigid wall between us opposing which sets us apart. Pondering the scenes of now and then, nothing is about us. 

            Choice was already painted even there's no painter in day by day of pretensions. Drown in the ocean of gigantic sharks...hunting and sinking one's teeth into my innocent- warm-blooded flesh.

           Almost tired, breathless..its time to move on..to live behind this bitter- sweet tale of heart. His eyes will be just mysterious as it is and my shadow will just fade away...slowly...by the wind.

            

IDEAL

The thing is.....idealism is what i am. to live in clouds of imaginary scenery is like a medicine that cure me in this crazy- unpredictable world. As a mortal you have to deal with so- called variations of everything that yours eyes can perceived,...that your ears can hear,...emotions that you can touch or feel. the idea of living is being needed by anyone..and...you,..needing someone to complete your life.
 
 
To talk about life and love...very cliche yet it brought out the invisible spirit of humanity. So ordinary, i was thinking about this thing, inspired to write what's on my mind and how i feel...all because of that poetic- illustrator- romantic louisian guy. maybe its not that important if i don't write his name here; he just wake me up...make me sway in ideal. With all his poem, illustrations and prose orchestrate my inner longing...to be in love and taste the clandestine of sweet- humoric so- called Love. yes, I'm inlove deep inside...my heart was smiling.

 

"invisible"

"All i want is to see myself in his eyes.....to be the reason of his every smile....and to be the definition of his Love".

yes..what's wrong if i feel this way?

cause no matter what i do,..

no matter how i ignore this feeling...

no matter how i said to myself that he can't never be mine...

and no matter what he do..

even if it will make me glad or sad..

even if  it will hurt me...

 nothing had change..

the feeling goes strong..

and i don't know how it will fade away!!!!

he's the reason of my smile...no matter how sad i am..

he's the reason of my sadness no matter how happy i am..

maybe this is craziness...what can i do????

if i can just teach my heart...

if i can just change everything...

if i could just forget him in an instant..

i know i'm just invisible to him..

and i will never be the one for him...

that's the reality and all i can do is to live with it!!!!!!

"aFter yOur hEart"

Bring me to the highest mountains
Bring me to the widest plains
Fly me to the skies above
I'd still call out Your name

Bring me to the deepest waters
Drive me through the longest roads
Take me away from these shadows
I'd still call out Your name
I'll stand firm and pray


Cuz I don't wanna go somewhere else
I wanna run towards You
I don't wanna look away
Cuz my eyes are fixed on You
I don't wanna live for someone else
Cuz You gave a brand new start
And these feet'll keep on going
I'm after Your heart

Bring me to Your love's chambers
Bring me in Your midst
bring me to the palm of your hands

Sail me towards the rising sun
Sail me through the rivers run
Spread my wings awide
And I'll still call out Your Name
I'd stand firm and pray


Nothing else can satisfy, I'm after Your heart
To You alone, I give my life, I'm after Your heart
Cuz no matter where I go
No matter what I do
these feet were made to run after You
Only You

[ i have no idea until when i could feel this way. . .chance is all i need ...to change everything and to make wrong things be right. . .but you don't give the chance . .you don't know how this hurts me . ..maybe your'e not meant for me. . .maybe you'll just the memory of my cognizant past . ..my home . . .which now burned and turned to ash . . .now its time to leave and say i love you,..Goodbye . . .DJP.]

"An oPen doOr with GOD"

I will praise you, Lord, with all my heart;
I will tell of all the marvelous thigs you have done.
I will be filled with joy because of you.
I will sing praisesto ou name, O Most High.

Psalm 9: 1-2

I've realized that as a human I am weak and I did such things that is more than of who I am.


Yes, I cry because I can't hold o to what I feel.
I fall inlove to someone that supposed should not be.
I lied to my family just to get what i want.
I had hurted my friends because I thought I am different from them.
I hated people around me for the eason that I felt they don't accept me.
I blame myself for all the pain, disappointments and heartaches.
I even get drunk and did foolish things that i never thought that i can do.



I am a person who committed with these mistakes and learned that life is a mixture of bitter- sweet memories. Someday, it will knock on you, and ask yourself "what is my happiness?..How and where i could find my happiness?". They say that happiness is about contentment on how you enjoy and love your life...yes, it is. More than anything else, I want to find my happiness with God. I was asking and reaching him to finally found myself, I want to know where should I be and what is my pupose in this journey. I want to ready myself if i was meant to commit myself to him and finally give my heart and soul to him.

For all the tears and pain that i had felt in my existence, I know it never change the sacrifice that he did fo me. God is always there to wipe my tears, help me to cope- up and teach me to fogive. If i offer my life to him, it will never be enough compare to the things that he had done for me.

I want to change and be a better peson despite of all the temptations, imperpections, weaknesss and mistakes. I want to be his servant who can share the words of wisdom to the people. I want to hear the voice of the world, uttering the good news of God, I wan to see the laughter ad smiles of the peole because he is the center of their life.


I want to find happiness through the path that God offers me to walk on.


God is the only man in my Life.

He is my First Love.