Suspension

Gravity, an attraction that force me to stride on the ground. I wish I could be on the moon, so I could just suspend in the air with the enormity feeling that succumb my vivacity. I’m in the edge of turmoil, it was a bitter- sweet pain. I know it was nowhere to go, I was lost and nothing I could ever do is to forget what I starting to relish in my life, in my heart. Can I say he was a gift? Maybe yet I could never have. Being with him is like walking in a place that I always wanted but forbidden to go through. What could I feel? How could I act naturally? How could I keep myself and the trepidation- melodic sensation that I have for him. How could I accept to myself that he was as if an old song that I never tired to listen again and again? The mere fact that he was part of my life gives me worthwhile contentment, and maybe that’s all it is. There are times that I ask myself how I even survive to the truth that he loves someone else; he was undeniably inlove with that girl. I already acknowledge that reality; I want to shout at myself how stupid I am but how could I? How could I justify the means? If there are things that you cannot explain and nothing you can do with it because without your consent it just ruled your life, your heart. How I wish that this feeling could vanish in a snap, it was the best feeling but it is also one thing that hurts me so much. No matter how I convince myself that he is not for me, that he was just a friend I still feel the same. I CANNOT ACCEPT NOR BELIEVE THE VERITY THAT I LIKE HIM OR WORST I’M INLOVE WITH HIM: IT WAS A TERRIFYING REALITY. The truth is he will never know, and I will never let him knew it. I’m too worn out of getting hurt, not this time; I want to treasure what we have: FRIENDSHIP. I’m exhausted to face fact that he will never look at me the way I want it; that I cannot see myself in his eyes, even for just once.